This week I participated in an event at FranklinCovey Sweden in preparation for the launch of the new edition of the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and I have also participated in a Mastermind together with some former classmates in professional coaching. This post is inspired by both of these events, as we particularly delved into life's big questions during our Mastermind – those that often get pushed aside in the pace of everyday life, but which fundamentally guide the direction we take. Inspired by our conversation, I am gathering here some reflections on the importance of not only seeking more answers but also daring to ask the right questions.

"Be patient with everything that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language."
– Rainer Maria Rilke

It was one of those mornings when the coffee cools before you even have time to taste the familiar flavor of the brew. Thoughts were already drifting in different directions as some of the planned events had not been prepared adequately. Yet, there was a quiet feeling that something important was missing.

No more answers.
No more to-do lists or quick fixes.
But better questions.

For many of the leaders I coach, the challenge is not that they lack intelligence, experience, or drive. On the contrary. They often possess an impressive arsenal of answers. They can analyze, solve problems, and act quickly.
But sometimes... that is exactly what gets in the way.

In the pursuit of delivering, performing, and being 'right,' we forget to ask the bigger questions:

👉 How do I really want to live my life?
👉 What do I want to stand for as a leader – and as a person?
👉 What stories about myself do I carry – and do I still need to believe in them?

And here begins one of the most powerful journeys in coaching: Not seeking more answers, but daring to ask the right questions.

Paradigm – the invisible glasses we don't know we wear

To understand why these questions are so crucial, we first need to understand the concept paradigm.

A paradigm is like a pair of invisible glasses we wear – a filter of beliefs, habits, and assumptions that colors how we see ourselves, others, and the world.

Stephen R. Covey, the author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", emphasizes that a true breakthrough in change rarely involves working harder or thinking smarter. It is about a paradigm shift – a change in how we see reality.

When we see differently, we act differently.
When we change paradigms, we change lives.

But our paradigms are so woven into our daily lives that we often take them for absolute truths:

• "This is how it has to be."
• "This is how the world works."
• "This is how I am as a person."

Therefore, one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is:

What assumptions are guiding me – without me even being aware of it?

Coaching – a place for the right questions

This is where coaching comes in powerfully.

In a professional coaching session, you do not get ready-made answers served. You also do not receive directives or advice. Instead, you receive something much more valuable.
A safe space where the right questions can be asked.

Questions that help you see your own paradigms.
Questions that illuminate the invisible maps you navigate by.
Questions that make you discover which paths are truly yours – not someone else's.

That is why coaching is not about fixing you.
It is about helping you to reclaim leadership over your own life.

Through questions and reflection, you can begin to see:

• Which goals are truly yours.
• Which roles you play – and if you want to continue playing them.
• Which paradigms need to be updated for you to live more true to yourself.

Dare to ask yourself

Take a moment and reflect:

• Which 'truths' about myself do I never question?
• What would I choose if I believed I was completely free to choose?
• Which patterns in my life reflect old paradigms that no longer serve me?

It can be frightening to question the glasses we have worn for so long.
But that is also where true development begins.

Asking the right questions requires courage.
But it also requires patience and self-compassion – daring to be in the process, even when the answers do not come immediately.

Life's big question: How do you want to live?

When the pace of life picks up – deadlines, expectations, obligations – it is easy to forget life's most central question:

👉 How do I want to live my life?

Not: How should I live?
Not: How do others want me to live?
But: How do I – truly – want to live?

It is this question that coaching helps you face with open eyes and an open heart.

And it is the answer to that question that can change everything.

When life shifts – which map do you want to use?

Rainer Maria Rilke wrote about loving the questions as if they were secret rooms, filled with riddles and possibilities.
In a world that often prioritizes quick answers, it is those who dare to stay in the questions who find the truly meaningful paths.

Professional coaching can provide you with the support you need to:

✨ Explore your own paradigms.
✨ Free yourself from old stories.
✨ Start living and leading even more authentically.

👉 Are you ready to reclaim leadership over your own life?
Schedule a first conversation with me at no extra cost here.
Together we explore the right questions – and create a path forward that is truly yours. For sometimes it is not the answers that are missing. It is the questions we finally dare to ask.